what I should have said | raelynn

They had turned over every knook and cranny in the town, but nothing had pointed towards where Gemini was. Instead, after reading some of the messages on the chat, Liam had turned the truck back towards campus and dropped her off down stairs. He said he was going out to look for Gem some more, but that might just mean that he was heading down to the Oasis to hang out for a while in hopes that Gemini would show up. It didn't matter though. He'd be closer to finding something than any of them were at this point.

The staircase to the second floor seemed to take longer than usual, but eventually she made it to the top. Supposedly Raven had left in search of the now MIA Dani, so Rae should be alone. The door was locked tight, making Becca thankful she had grabbed her keys. Opening it a crack, she peered in looking for her sister. Rae? Rae it's me...where are you? Knowing her luck, Rae had taken off too. Why couldn't they keep two girls in a room for more than ten minutes?


RAELYNN CLARISSA DAVENPORT

The last thing she needed was for Rebecca to come home. Raelynn was sitting on her bed with her back to the door. She was still feeling the fuzzy haze of alcohol as she stared at the large plasma TV. The title menu for Guardians of the Galaxy was on the TV, because Raelynn and Dani had never actually gotten around to changing the movie. Raelynn was starring at the TV and listened to the OOGA CHAKA song play over and over and over. Everything is good.

"I'm here." She said in a monotone voice, not breaking her eyes away from the TV screen. What is she even supposed to say to Rebecca in this situation? Raelynn didn't have the answer.

Did Raven leave already? How did Dani even... Going in to the bathroom, she sighed when she saw the window was still open. Of course drunk Dani was still able to climb out her second story window without even a second thought. Crazy kid. Making sure it was shut and secure, Becca walked back out to sit on the side of Raelynn's bed. What happened after you closed the laptop Rae? And don't tell me nothing. I can see it in your eyes. Something is wrong.

Finally, Raelynn looked away from the Walkman that took up a good portion of her TV screen and looked at her sister. Her eyes were blank, soulless, and staring, "I'm great, actually." She was smiling a hollow, terrible smile, "I don't think Dani is though. She seemed a little...broken." Giggled a high-pitched, forced giggle, Raelynn looked back at the TV. Groot was on the screen and the title menu song was restarting with the same OOGA CHAKA OOGA CHAKA, "I am glad I wasn't in love like she was. It's nice to realize that I was just being silly." She tilted her head to the side, "Love is so dumb. You should have seen his face when he was begging her not to go." Still smiling. Always smiling.

Rae...honey you are not okay. This, this is not right. Her twin was scaring her and for a moment at least, she considered calling Liam to come back. Maybe she was in over her head. And you weren't being silly. Everyone could see that you two are in love with each other. Dani will be fine. Gem will come back, once Dr. Cooper and Ms. Rainer find him. Come on, Rae. Stop the act. It was a lot to ask coming from the person who had caused all of this. Did Rae even know what she had done? Dani didn't even see that much, Rae. She left before it got too heated. The words slipped out as she thought them. She hadn't intended to tell anyone about that, or to let Dani do it. She owed them that much ignorance.

Raelynn raised her eyes brows in realization, "Dani saw..." Nodding slowly she smirked, "The laptop. That explains sooo much." She laughed and shook her head, "Wow, Becca." Raelynn smiled at her sister, giggling, "I thought you were a nice person. But seriously, though. Impressive. Gemini wasn't far off with the Regina George reference." She started tapping her foot along to the beat of Hooked on a Feeling.

I have my moments. I did it for you though, because you deserved to be happy. Gem only freaked out because Dani is his best friend. He doesn't really love her like that. He just... well, they're them. He'll get over her within a day or two, they'll make up and be homies, then you'll have what you wanted. In her head it had sounded much better. She loved her twin and just wanted Rae to have one thing that was hers. Dani was in the way of that, so she removed the problem. It was a black and white scenario with too much grey in between. Maybe she shouldn't have...no, dani would have never let Gem go without a fight. Now that was over. Rae...what's wrong. Why are you saying that you were being silly? Definitely in over her head. Maybe she needed reinforcements.

Raelynn shook her head, "There are some lines that just aren't meant to be crossed, Rebecca." She said in an even voice, "And you crossed pretty much all of them." She stood up, finally clicking the off button on the XBox, "But you know, that's okay. Everything is good. I am finally back to normal, and I do have you to thank for that." She bent over and pulled out her Coach suitcase from under the bed, "I am glad I don't have any more delusions of romance."

The freaky zombie act finally made becca snap a little bit. Grabbing the suitcase, she threw it across the room and away from her sister. Oh no, you are not running away from this. Not me, not gem, and not yourself. placing herself firmly between Raelynn and the door, she put her hands on her hips and stared her twin down. The tough act wasn't her strong point, but she'd try it. I might have crossed a line, but you and this attitude of hiding or running every time you get close to some sort of real emotion has to stop Raelynn. Right now.

Raelynn pursed her lips, "Throwing things isn't nice, Rebecca." Raelynn moved to grab her suitcase but her sister stepped in front of her, stopping her, "You know what? I am not running away from anything. I don't have emotions. I have never had emotions. It's not luxury I was raised to believe in and I am not going to start because you think I might have fallen for the resident bad boy." She shoved her sister hard, making sure she would land on a bed, "Don't be stupid."

Becca hit the bed with a thud, but it wasn't hard enough to keep her down for long. Jumping back to her feet, Becca grabbed Raelynn by the arm and pulled her backwards. Bullshit Raelynn. You care too much. That's your problem. You care and then when it doesn't feel good anymore you shut down and self destruct. Her grip tightened around Raelynn's arm as she shook it. That isn't living. That's being a zombie. Stop hiding and fucking face it. Your past isn't an excuse anymore. You have people that love you now, get used to it.

Raelynn stood still for a moment, feeling her sister's fingers bruising her arm. She turned her head slowly and glared focusing her heat energy to her arm so that it would become too hot for Rebecca to hold on to. She yanked her arm from her sister's grasp and took a few steps away from her, "No one loves me. If you loved me, you would have just let me cry on your shoulder about everything and called it good. If Gemini loved me..." Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes, sucking in a deep, labored breath. When she opened her eyes again, they reflect the fire in her chest that was burst through. Flames licked at her irises and she could feel her entire body heating up with anger, "He wouldn't have run away." She spun around, heat radiating off of her; her fingertips started to glow red hot as fire sprouted from them and dancing up her arms, "You want to see self-destruction?" She said bitterly, facing Rebecca again, "Careful what you wish for." Raelynn punched the wall next to her, fire bursting from the point of contact and engulfing the back half on the room near the windows.

For a moment, Becca panicked and wasn't sure what to do. Raelynn was on fire, her own hand was slightly burnt, and now the wall was up in flames. This was done. Now. Running in to the bathroom, she turned the shower and sink on full blast so that she could get some ammo to put the fire out before the alarms went off. Once she had enough to get started, she strode back in to the room and started running the large ball of water over the wall. It was more suffocating the flames than drowning them, but oh well. The fire was out before she knew it and she used a smaller ball of water to turn off the faucets in the other room. No way she was leaving so that Rae could keep going. The orb floated in front of her much like it had that morning weeks ago with gem and Ralph as a solution to at least one problem dawned on her. The water spiraled for a second, then wrapped around her twin like blanket. It sizzled against her skin and the warm temperatures made her want to scream, but she held it anyways, adding to it as she needed to to keep Rae from flaming up again. Enough, Raelynn. Cut the shit.

"Let me go, Rebecca!" She screamed over the sound of the icy water bubbling against her skin, "You have no right to hold me against me will! Just let it go! I am over this stupid place and this stupid school. I am over all the stupid people here." She tried to summon more flames but the water kept her under wraps, "I hate you!" She cried, falling to her knees, "I hate everyone! Especially Gemini Cooper. There is no one in this world I hate more than him!" She struggled against the watery binds, "I hate you all. Just let me go..."

i don't care if you hate me or not Raelynn. I'm your sister, your not meant to love me all the time. pulling back slightly, she at least made it comfortable for Rae to sit. She didn't want to hurt her by getting her too cold or forcing her in to power exhaustion. As it was, Becca's hands were turning red from handling the scalding hot water. Stupid power quirks. She was going to need some first aide when this was over. And you don't hate anyone. Your scared and hurt because no one ever taught you that love doesn't always feel good. You think seeing Gem with Dani destroyed you? Imagine how I felt when you walked in here with Liam that first day. I never wanted to forgive either of you, and most people wouldn't have. But I love you and I love him so I deal with the hurt because I choose you both. Every single day. What do you choose Rae? Huh? And don't tell me running, because we both know that that isn't what you really want. Choose right now.